I am referring to a thing called ‘bikini shopping’. I do not need a new bikini to be honest, I have three and they are fine. But with the onslaught of bloggers and Instagrammers shoving numerous swimwear shots in my face, somehow all taken in exotic places like the Maldives (where I have actually been but that is a completely different story), I decided to venture online to see if there are any I like enough to add to my wardrobe.
The answer is a resounding ‘no’.
And here is how I came to that conclusion:
1 mentally scrap all of the features you hate, in my case a lot: hardware, loud prints, anything floral, neon colours, padding (because seriously, do you really want to have to wring out your bikini top like a laundry maiden every time you’ve been in the water?), underwire (but hey, I understand the need for support ladies), fringe, ruching, cut-outs (tan lines people!) and anything resembling Triangl swimwear (which I am sorry to say, I just find too tacky);
2 casually type ‘swimwear’ in Google;
3 get shocked by the amount of hits;
4 randomly select a few brands and stores to browse;
5 give up after a measly 10 minutes and think to yourself ‘Thank goodness I already have three.’.
Now, at a push, if it were really necessary for me to buy a bikini (say, when one of the kids decides to put the ones I have through the shredder) I just about managed to select three other, admittedly really boring ones.
When it comes to swimwear I do really know myself: boring as hell.
ps Murphy’s Law dictates I discover a very nice swimwear brand a mere 5 minutes before publishing so forgive me for simply adding the link to Marysia and whispering in your ear “Yes, pricey…but go on, you deserve it.”